Would you like to feel ‘better in yourself’? Most of us are interested in discovering ways we can feel good, content, and more secure in ourselves. A feeling of happiness ironically is not about getting what you want, but more about wanting what you have.
How do I get to feeling better in myself?
Studies prove that we need to experience a minimum of 3:1 positives to every negative in our working and personal life, yet if we want to thrive the positivity ratio goes up to 5:1.These positives can be an experience, an interaction or a communication. For example when someone speaks to us negatively, counts as one; i.e.: “You’re wrong about that/ you never ..” whereas a positive communication i.e.: “That was not an easy time for you”. In this case, we would need 5 positive comments to negate one negative communication.
Keeping a gratitude journal is proven to increase feelings of wellbeing, therefore record three or more things every day that you feel grateful for. This exercise changes the focus from a negative perspective to a more positive one. Examples can be: ‘I am grateful for my family, my health and having a job’
Take Care of yourself, so you can take care of others
Some of us are more out of practice than others and need to focus on loving ourselves healthily, not selfishly. You work hard, you deserve a break and to treat yourself and you do deserve. Do you really believe this? If you do not, then resolve to affirm yourself and treat yourself better; starting now. Tell yourself you are worth it; especially if you do not feel that way about yourself. Show it in all your actions towards yourself, by resting yourself, eating well, physical care of self, taking a break or a well earned rest.
Tell yourself what you did right-even when things went wrong
Most of us have an ‘inner critic’ working overtime and we beat ourselves up all the time. Resolve to kill the inner critic and instead be your own best friend. Tell yourself what you did well and you will do more of it. Therefore, if you finish making a presentation at work for the first time, an example may be: ‘I did very well today and when I have done more of these; I will do even better, well done!’
Take Time to Reflect and Live better
Taking the time to do some deep breathing, a relaxation exercise or a little meditation enhances feelings of wellbeing as it centres you when you are anxious or overwhelmed. Time to reflect means we are less reactive with others and more proactive and all our relationships improve.
Giving back increases wellbeing
Despite all the challenges we face, people still give their time generously in the community and the schools. For the small contribution of time (perhaps a couple hours a month) we connect in with people, we feel supported and always seem to get back much more than the little we contributed.
Take time for pleasure
A few minutes to sow some spring bulbs in the garden can renew, recharge and refocuses us. Find something where you are in the ‘flow’ (where you lose time and become immersed in the activity; for me it is gardening!) and make a little time for it.