How to have confident children?
The two pillars of self esteem are:
1. How lovable do they feel (praise or correct Behaviour but always love their person). That means you will respond positively to difficult behaviour by separating the child from their behaviour: (‘I love you but that behaviour is not okay, we’ll talk when we’re both calmer)
2. How capable they feel (given lots of opportunities to do things with encouragement)
(This means they will make mistakes as that’s part of learning, & that you focus on their effort, not the performance).
We know that Self Esteem is the key to your child’s future, therefore build your child up and tell them what they have done good, ignore the bad and see difficult behaviour as a cry for help, that instead of you thinking they are trying to make your life difficult, that life is no t easy for them.
Only this morning, when I had a negative encounter with one of my children, did I after correcting them, find they said ‘no one loves me’. We need ensure that our child always feels loved and that the focus is on the behaviour, not on their person. Easier said than done!