Never ever compare a Child
An act of comparison is an act of rejection, therefore try not to ever compare your child to another. Each child is an unique individual with their own personality and their own character, we need to see how unique each of our children are and celebrate them.
Make a Request, not a Demand
If you want a child to do something, try to make a request, not a demand. Also recognise that you are not always in a place to meet everyone else’s need, and it is the same for your child, they may not always be in a place to meet your need. Sometimes, children are in a place to meet needs, sometimes they are not. However, if my parenting is conditional on them always meeting my needs, I will (and have) use love as a weapon, to be withdrawn when conditions are not met.
For me, this was one of my hardest lessons to learn in parenting, that my need is my need and it may not be my child’s need. I am learning to find a way to meet my need without jeorardising my relationship with my child. Too often, I let love get lost in a competition of needs. If I try to parent unconditionally, I always love the child, whether they meet my needs or not, and usually find out afterwards that there was something going on for the child, that was not obvious to me at the time, and I cringe at the fuss I made over a couple of dishes. One day, there will be no more dishes to give out about and I remind myself, I am trying to raise children who feel good about themselves, not cleaners!