Parenting is the hardest job we ever do and we come into it with no parenting tips or support
Parenting Tips for Parents with Children
I have learnt from my mistakes and from working with hundreds of parents each year who tell me what works better.
Child’s greatest need is to feel loved and ‘good enough’; therefore when we get cross they feel threatened; I know because my teenager told me that is how my crossness and raised voice impacted on her. I regret it; but was always doing my best; now I walk away, hit my PAUSE button and talk later when we are both calmer. It works much better and I have found that as I got in charge of my behavior, my children learnt to do the same.
Parents with Children
Parents with children have So many demands on them, they need to take care of themselves first, as then they can take care of everything and everyone else. In simple terms for me this means, when I am tired, I prioritise rest (over more chores) knowing that if I do not, I will be cranky, irritiable and impatient. My mood seems to permeate through the house so I have found that minding myself is my No 1 responsibility (for everyone’s sake!). A Happy Parent means children will be happier and more content, so meet your needs and you will find you are much more able to meet theirs with time, patience and calmness.
For me; this is what worked:
On school mornings, I go to bed earlier, and get up half an hour earlier that I used to when I was rushed and stressed. This means there is ample time to do things. Mornings begin the night before; therefore as a family, set the breakfast table, lay out uniforms, preprepare lunches or set them up. When I started to be more organised, I was calmer, and as the parent sets the tone in the home, the house was calmer and the children more co operative. ‘As soon as’ is great to use with your children ‘can we play? ‘Yes, as soon as everyone is ready for school with bags at the door and shoes on, there will be ten minutes playtime. Support this with rewarding them with stars on the starchart. ‘Catch your children being good and remember that Every effort is an attainment, as you do that they feel more encouraged to try to do more with praise and encouragement. Step back, not into conflict and tell them how their behavior impacts on you,
‘I feel sad when you both fight and I need you to use your words, not your actions or to come to me; we treat each other nicely in this house’.