Parents are under more stress than even before – so what can you do?
Can you identify with any of this?
- Not balanced Work/Home Life
- Partners/children getting ‘leftovers’
- Poor self-care (delays calling dentist/doctor)
- Poor Boundaries around self
- Always available/’on’
- Takes too much responsibility on
- Difficulty in saying No
- Always in ‘Doing’ mode, little ‘Being’ mode
Stress is a friend – alerting you to the need to take care of self better
A feeling of being stressed is an alarm to alert you that you have moved away from well being. Stress often means we need to literally ‘play’ more!
If you are doing this, perhaps examine ‘How is it I am not balanced? How was it, I wasn’t looking after myself”?
Once we become conscious of not taking care of ourselves, we are aware of having to make better choices or the stress symptoms (illness/insomnia etc) will escalate until we respond in the way our bodies need.
Strengthen your Boundaries
Have Boundaries around your Time,Work, Relationships: take care of your time and recognize the need for time for self, time with your partner on a date night and family time. Time to work, and boundaries around time you are not available for work (phones off 6-9pm in the evenings).
Mum’s challenge is asking & receiving help/saying No
Many mothers have a problem in asking for help and receiving support. As they improve how they relate to turn to themselves, they automatically accept help that is offered graciously, or accept the compliment offered, without needing to ‘Return to Sender’. Last week, I received an e mail from a lady who had heard me speak at a Stress talk in her company. What she took away was that it was ok to say No, and she did over a couple of days and was delighted to find that she was more’ in control of her work and of her personal life’.
Reducing Parental Stress
- Take time for self
- Set time to leave work by & focus to ensure it happens
- Leave work at work
- Clearer desk/office often means a clearer mind
- Set healthy boundaries round times you are not available
- It is okay to say No!
- Be a better delegator
- Control technology
- Ask for help & keep expectations realistic
- Ease up on self & others
How does ‘never having time’ impact on self and children/partner?
Take a moment to reflect the impact it has on loved ones; and the impact it has on you never having enough time. It is likely you are cranky, irritable and impatient, feeling tense and a little stressed much of the time. Loved ones may feel that they are not important to you and be sad, angry or resentful.
How to be a less stressed parent:Organize and execute round balanced priorities
What are the 3 biggest mistakes we make?
- Inability to Prioritise what’s important to you
- Inability to Organise around these priorities
- A lack of Discipline – A minute planning saves 10 minutes on execution
Tips to reduce stress at work/home:
- To Do List
- Manage Distractions
- Take Breaks to recharge
- Do hardest task first
- Reward difficult tasks achieved
- Get longer lead time from clients
- Chunking: Break task into manageable chunks
- Ensure your expectations are realistic
- Ensure you take time at home to refresh & recharge
“I may not be able to complete this project on time along with all the other work I have to do. However, I can get clear priorities from my boss, and then manage the time I spend on each project. It may be that the quality of each is not what I’d like it to be, but I have to be realistic about what is achievable here’