Positive Parenting works, when the relationship is based on mutual respect, good listening and unconditional love.
What’s the problem?
According to David Coleman, the biggest problem is parental anxiety and over involvement. His advice is to sit back, relax and only get involved when absolutely necessary. Try not give attention to negative behaviour, instead give positive attention as much as possible and offer your children the time and attention that is often at the root of much challenging behaviour.
The secret is if you are interacting well the majority of the time, conflict is something you get over easily, as the relationship is better and you ‘get back on track’ quicker
- Hit the PAUSE button
- Take a deep breath and say ‘I’ll deal with it later’
- Move away – even to other side of room breathing deeply allows you get in control of your response
- Humour – sometimes can diffuse
- Be Kind, firm and consistent without breaking relationship
Conflict Resolution is a skill they need to learn
When children fight-do not jump in-it does not WORK!
- PAUSE..Listen..Help them to sort out relationship
- Calm voice – calms the situation
- “How can you sort it out so you are both happy”?
- Encourage them to work as a team helps sibling rivalry; reward them with your attention when they are playing together without fighting.
Out of control child needs – A Parent who is IN control
Stay calm as your behaviour gets repeated by your children
Role model the behaviour you wish to see from them
Acknowledge how they feel – “Sounds like you’re upset; I’m happy to talk with you when you calm down”
Only use consequences you are in control of; TV, pocket money – “If you choose to tidy before dinner; you’re choosing a TV show after; you decide”