What is resilience? It is the ability to persevere and adapt when things go awry.

Stress Management through building your resilience

We know it is not so much what happens to us, but more about our response that determines what outcomes we experience. Therefore, if we increase our resilience, we improve our ability to manage all that we have to manage. Without resilience, we give up or feel helpless and not in control of our lives.

 Stress reduction: What’s required?

A commitment to change. We know that key to building resilience is to practice self-care so therefore we need to decide some key changes we will make to take care of ourselves so we can take care of everything else.

Overcoming Stress

How good are you at looking after yourself? Do you find it difficult? Do you know that how you look after yourself reveals how you feel about yourself. Therefore, if you feel good about yourself, you are likely to take exercise, eat healthily, ensure you have time out to meet with friends or your partner and have an awareness of your limits.

 Stress reduction

Are you always rushing?                                               Allow more time

Do you rarely say No?                                                    Practice saying No

Do you have no ‘Me’ time                                           Take time for self

Do you never ask for help?                                          Seek help and accept support

Do you have to do everything perfect?                  Have realistic expectations

Managing Stress

The No 1 challenge for men is to nurture and take care of self. When you actively ensure your wellbeing, you ensure the wellbeing of others. Women have a major difficulty in asking for and receiving help and are not conscious of how unworthy they feel to receive. Over caring for others needs to be balanced with caring for self, you are only responsible for yourself, not for everybody and everything else.

Physical Stress

Physically: do you

  • Nurture self with healthy diet
  • Find a half hour to exercise makes the rest of the day more manageable
  • Prioritise rest when tired
  • Take time to relax/meditate

Overcoming Stress

When you take care of yourself, you can take care of everything else.

What happens when we don’t look after ourselves?

Symptoms of Stress & not taking care of self result in:

We Act Out, for example: or we                                    Act in

Aggressive/Controlling                                                       Timid/Shy/Passive

Blames others                                                                           Blames self

Judgemental/Rigid                                                                Conforms/Compliant

Irritable/Short temper                                                         Bottles up feelings

Overpowering/Bullies                                                           Over pleasing

Physically threatening                                                           Hypersensitive to criticism

Sarcastic/Cynical                                                                     Perfectionist

Stress Management

Help with stress:

The challenge is for us to do something different: for example:

If your response is:                                                         The challenge for you is:

Being irritable                                                                    Embrace mistakes

Being critical                                                                       Be more affirming

Being impatient                                                                  Be more patient

Being anxious                                                                      Believe in self

Being tired                                                                            Rest yourself

Being timid                                                                           Your presence matters

Being a perfectionistic                                                    You are good enough

Stress Relief

When you look after yourself, you are more resilient, so ease up on self and let things go.

Stress Tips

30 minutes exercise                                                       Read a book

Healthy diet                                                                       Take a bath

Schedule Fun/time out                                                 Go for a walk

Prioritise rest if tired                                                     See a friend

Accept help/support                                                      Ask for help & receive

Reward your efforts                                                       Meet your own needs

Share your concerns


What new choices will you make? What new actions will you take?

Identify one change you can make to look after yourself better

 I need to:

  • Start doing
  • Stop doing
  • Do more
  • Do less
  • Do differently