What is resilience? It is the ability to persevere and adapt when things go awry.
Stress Management through building your resilience
We know it is not so much what happens to us, but more about our response that determines what outcomes we experience. Therefore, if we increase our resilience, we improve our ability to manage all that we have to manage. Without resilience, we give up or feel helpless and not in control of our lives.
Stress reduction: What’s required?
A commitment to change. We know that key to building resilience is to practice self-care so therefore we need to decide some key changes we will make to take care of ourselves so we can take care of everything else.
How good are you at looking after yourself? Do you find it difficult? Do you know that how you look after yourself reveals how you feel about yourself. Therefore, if you feel good about yourself, you are likely to take exercise, eat healthily, ensure you have time out to meet with friends or your partner and have an awareness of your limits.
Are you always rushing? Allow more time
Do you rarely say No? Practice saying No
Do you have no ‘Me’ time Take time for self
Do you never ask for help? Seek help and accept support
Do you have to do everything perfect? Have realistic expectations
The No 1 challenge for men is to nurture and take care of self. When you actively ensure your wellbeing, you ensure the wellbeing of others. Women have a major difficulty in asking for and receiving help and are not conscious of how unworthy they feel to receive. Over caring for others needs to be balanced with caring for self, you are only responsible for yourself, not for everybody and everything else.
Physically: do you
- Nurture self with healthy diet
- Find a half hour to exercise makes the rest of the day more manageable
- Prioritise rest when tired
- Take time to relax/meditate
When you take care of yourself, you can take care of everything else.
What happens when we don’t look after ourselves?
Symptoms of Stress & not taking care of self result in:
We Act Out, for example: or we Act in
Blames others Blames self
Irritable/Short temper Bottles up feelings
Overpowering/Bullies Over pleasing
Physically threatening Hypersensitive to criticism
Help with stress:
The challenge is for us to do something different: for example:
If your response is: The challenge for you is:
Being irritable Embrace mistakes
Being critical Be more affirming
Being impatient Be more patient
Being anxious Believe in self
Being tired Rest yourself
Being timid Your presence matters
Being a perfectionistic You are good enough
When you look after yourself, you are more resilient, so ease up on self and let things go.
30 minutes exercise Read a book
Healthy diet Take a bath
Schedule Fun/time out Go for a walk
Prioritise rest if tired See a friend
Accept help/support Ask for help & receive
Reward your efforts Meet your own needs
Share your concerns
What new choices will you make? What new actions will you take?
Identify one change you can make to look after yourself better
I need to:
- Start doing
- Stop doing
- Do more
- Do less
- Do differently