Many parents have difficulty in dealing with behaviour that challenges them; so I invite you to deal with it differently this week.
Ironically,compassion is the No 1 response to difficult behaviour, when they deserve your love the least, they need it the most.Whether it is tantrums, aggression, uncooperative behaviour; see that the child is trying to tell you how difficult life is for him. What lies hidden needs to be revealed; after all; all behaviour makes sense.

You’ll be surprised to find that when you are different, the child is different                                                           .

What you put out; you get back, the more you love & approve your child, the less difficult behaviour you will encounter. Responding to the difficult behaviour

  • Separate the child from the behaviour; “ I love you but cannot accept that behaviour”
  • Don’t use You messages “You are so bold”
  • Instead use “I” messages “I feel upset when.”
  • Take action for self  (get out of the room if you are going to ‘lose it’)
  • Stay calm, stay separate from the behaviour – do not personalise it
  • Do not get into conflict or break relationship with the child

Why the bad behaviour?

  • A feeling of not being loved enough
  • Low Self Esteem

Ask the ‘W’ Questions

  • What is going on for my child?
  • Why is this behaviour happening?
  • Who is it happening with?
  • Where is it happening (Home/ School)
  • When is it happening?

Look at your self

  • Make a note every night of how you interacted with the child that day                                                             y
  • Note three positive things about the child each day
  • Did you affirm this child and treat them with respect?
  • Did you unconditionally love him, not for what he does, but who he is?

Helpful Hints:

  • A behaviour that is noticed increases “I noticed an improvement in..”
  • A behaviour that is ignored (bad behaviour) – Decreases
  • Catch the child – being Good.
  • Make a respectful request; not an order “Bed now!”
  • Settle for less than perfection